did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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