Already got asked if we're dating
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
