the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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