carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
