You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
