Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
