he wants to bone in the snuggie
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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