Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I wear drunk well.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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