its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
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