hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
