he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
