i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you had me at cake vodka
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
