ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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