there was a trapeze. enough said
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
