those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
