My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
