We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Come on in and take your pants off
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