Will you blow on my dice?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
