I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
