i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
