Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
