There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
