gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
