garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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