Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
