i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
