just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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