I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
