Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
