Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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