There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
