I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
