Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
