I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
