hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
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