sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
