Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
