Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
