hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
