highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
birth control should be required to get into college
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I lost the right to judge tonight
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
