so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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