I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
