I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
