Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
