I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
