Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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