im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
