I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
