Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
