So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Randomize
