dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
