Plan B is the new Plan A
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
