Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
